and it all means?

Yea right, if I had answers like that I sure wouldn't be up in here writing little love notes to my brain.
I'd be out there, solving every problem I could possibly get my hands on.
I guess I used to think(in my younger days) that solving was what I was doing, but in fact of course, I was just creating more problems for myself. Oh but how can you resist sometimes, I mean really. There are precious few situations that make your ethics stand up, or your heart stand out, so when you see one, you can't help but be a soldier. No matter the cost. The ends justify the means. Only sometimes. You gotta search way deep down in yourself to figure out whether yae or nae.

The only method of survival is purpose.

Whether that be to make money or tear down corporations who make too much; when the goal is easily attained or when you think you're day will never come.
So what's the purpose of me sittin here when I should be at work?
Good question.lol.
Well to be honest, I'm not worried anymore about the stress of work. Today you could call it a mental health day, but it's not just that. I can barely talk, and since I make my money by talking, I'm of no good to anyone but myself today. Just fine, I was feeling selfish anyways.
When do I ever get a chance to do something totally selfish?Most of what I do is selfless and that's when you get yourself into some deep waters:the bottom of that well doesn't exist.
You can whittle away your identity to nothing if you surrender too much of yourself to your daily chores.
Yea, I used the word chores, like when you Mom used to ask you to clean your room or take out the dog or whatever it was you were required to do for that dollar a week.

It's like my favorite kids poem, called "doing the dishes":

If you're asked to do the dishes
(stead of going to the store)
If you're asked to do the dishes
(such an aweful boring chore)
If they ask you to do the dishes
and you drop one on the floor
No one will ask you to do the dishes anymore.

That says waay too much about my mood today.
Don't ask me to do s***. Sorry, but I have to say it like that.
I'm sick of doing something I hate: but I don't do it for the job I do it for the people.
I don't think for a second that my little ripple in the pool of revenue will make the largest telecommunications company in the country give a damn about whether I want to come into work today.
My team at work amazes me thoughb; I feed off of the energy we create, and I've never been exposed to a bunch of people who can work so well together. We do not get enough credit for how well we do our jobs, but that's to be expected.

It's not that I didn't want to be a part of that today, I just couldn't bring myself in.
Being late and not being able to talk just seemed so pointless. Plus it's cold outside.
Listen to me, what a big baby. It's not even that I can't talk, I just don't want to.
Today my job is cleaning the house,taking out the dog (for a real walk), and writing this.
Tomorrow can be the " hair done, brown dress pants, camel coloured shirt with the brown beads and the cordouroy jacket with the victorian sleeves" day. I could even rock the snakeskin spike heels.
Oh yea. Tomorrow, because it's always gonna to better than today.